Maybe

They say that my life is normal; my life is good because there is no drama, heartache, dreams, wishes, special people and a purpose. My life is great because I don’t have to go through all the pain people suffer. But maybe I don’t want a normal life. Maybe I want to feel the pain because before or after the pain was a period of happiness too, I want that. Maybe my life is not so great after all because it has nothing; it is pain, simple and boring. Maybe I want thunder, rain, sunshine, snowfall and hurricanes. People say I am lucky but I think they are lucky because something is happening to them. Someone actually texts and calls them because they miss them or because they just want to talk not because they have some work with you. Maybe I don’t want the most interesting that happened to me yesterday to be about the tasty food I ate. Maybe I just want to life rather than a good life, maybe I just want to live and love, maybe I just want to start my story.

Maybe

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He was behind her or he was in front of her but he was never with her. If he was with her, it was never for long. It was never long enough to be satisfied, long enough to be sure, long enough to be sure and never long enough to be with her.

Ever have that feeling when you see a person that if they knew you, they would love you, understand you, live with you, dream with you, have fun with you and maybe never forget you. She got that feeling when she saw him. Him; walking, laughing, talking, doing all the mad things he does. She was never the girl that boys could talk to effortlessly, she was never the prettiest, she was never the funniest and she was ok with it until he came around and he made her want to all those things just because she wanted him to see her, actually look at her just once.

Everyday she would look at the mirror and sometimes would not even recognize what see saw. She had that feeling that her face is not her own, it felt somehow foreign sometimes. It was a good face but there was nothing extraordinary about it. Maybe that was the problem, maybe her face wasn’t good enough. Everyday after staring at the mirror for longer than necessary thinking that maybe today will be the day when this face will stand out. She would step out again into the world for yet another time waiting, hoping for the world to change.

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Life Is A Road trip

I find life like a road trip. It has a beginning and an end. Everybody is born with a known or sometimes unknown destination or purpose. Your life maybe short or long like a trip to the supermarket or a trip to the other side of a country. Everything is constantly moving but it doesn’t mean that you are seeing the same type of things. A road trip can be a lot of things – exciting, adventurous, boring, sad, happy, depressing, scary, boring and so can be life, it just depends who is driving. Feel free to take risks, do anything you want because you get one road trip like this and you might want to make this one count. 

Change

A minute ago life is dull, static and uneventful. All you want is that to change, you something to happen, something to change because you are unsatisfied with your current situation, it’s boring to you so, you want to change it. It doesn’t happen most of the time but when it does, you are not sure if you want this change anymore. You want to change the change, you want to go back to where you where a minute ago, you realize that life was perfect a minute go and now it isn’t. You only realize this because you can’t have it anymore, you can’t change it no matter what you do.  You imagine a million things you couldn’t have done differently but you only think that because you can’t do them anymore. We are stupid idiots, we look at other people hoping we could have something they have but we don’t realize they maybe thinking the same about us. We want change so bad that we don’t even see that the thing we want to change is the best thing we have. Sometimes it is not even this, some sadder times the change is unwanted and painful. You knew your life was perfect but it isn’t anymore.

What will you do now? How can someone survive this? But know one thing you are brave enough to handle anything that comes your way, if you weren’t it wouldn’t happen to you. You just have to find your power, that thing that makes you the strongest. Many people fail, it doesn’t mean that you would. You are not like everyone.

But if you are one the lucky ones, whose life is the same it was a minute ago. See it, appreciate it, know it and believe in it. If you still don’t like it, change it on your own terms before life does it for you. 

I Want To Do Something

I have never been much of a crier even right now I know I won't cry but I can sense something close to tears in my eyes, it is either that or my eyes are just hurting as a result of sitting in front of my computer for way too long. The thing is I feel sad. There is no reason for it and then there are too many reasons. I feel like time is running away and am stable, I fear wasting my life way to much that I am not even living it. I feel like am not getting enough opportunities to show myself to world, I know that is really selfish but I really want to do something that people can see, recognise, appreciate. I sometimes feel really desperate for doing something but I don't really do anything, that really frustrates me. I sometimes get irritated to people due to this and that is not good i know but I just can't help it sometimes. I feel like I am waiting for something big, momentous to happen to me and when I doesn't happen I feel depressed. I know it's not possible for  something to happen to me, I mean it's not a movie or anything but the thing is I watch too many movies and I see a lot of people and I have way too many expectations. I see other people and it is good see those people doing so many great things but I want to do great things too. I know I can be wrong too but this is one the reasons why I am sad there are others too but I think this is big enough for know. One more thing I wanted to say that the the little things that happen do make me happy but soon wear off but I become really happy for a while and I like it. For the time being I stop looking sad because everybody doesn't have to know you are sad, they probably won't even care because in the end only you can make your self happy so if happiness taking too long to arrive, in the mean time JUST SMILE. I know it's hard and to will probably look like Sheldon Cooper trying to smile but I will make the people you love happy and it is sometimes worth it.

THIS NEVER FAILS TO CRACK ME UP !!

He Wanted Her Know

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They were in middle of a field in the middle of nowhere. Golden coloured tall grass was swaying with the gentle wind. Her dark hair was also flowing with the wind, sometimes covering her face. She didn't know how beautiful she was, he thought. But she has to know, he wanted to let her know. He wanted her to know that she was the most beautiful person inside out he has ever known, she knew him and understood him in ways nobody could, he wanted to be with her all the time, she made him unimaginably happy, it physically hurt him to see her cry, he didn't know what she felt but he wanted her to know. He didn't know what she would say but he knows he won't be able to hold it on for long.

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She knew that she loved him, how can she not, she spent her every living moment thinking about him. But knew she knew that he didn't love her, not like she loved him. She was not the type of person he can love. She was not pretty enough, not funny enough. She knew that what she wanted from him, could never get that. So, she won't say anything because that right in the field in the middle of nowhere, even if she could have that much, she would be the happiest person alive. He made her happy and she wanted this happiness forever but she cannot have it so, she doesn't say anything trying to keep this happiness as long as possible.

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