Open Microsoft Word. This is how great things happen. Blank.
Now is when a life changing idea comes in. Baam! Fast forward to success,
glory… HAPPINESS. No great idea yet. Too experienced in the reality of life to
wait for it (the idea). don’t really want an idea, just a distraction,
something to take mind off , its too painful out there right now. I guess that
is what happens when your joy is dependent on things and people who are not
you. When people or circumstances sometimes unconsciously have more influence
on how your day goes than you. We are fools after all. We do this to ourselves.
We know so much better than to do this, but can we help it?
Maybe life is the idea we all are looking for, life. Life,
the only constant in life. The only thing that stays is that we are living,
breathing, being crushed under regrets, sorrows, disappointments but yet
living. Looking the same on the outside, going on (sort of). How brave. Fears,
failures, regrets, faults, mistakes, incapabilities but then there are hopes,
dreams, expectations, beliefs, more hope. Who wins? The lucky ones I am
guessing.
Can you stop yourself from feeling? Is there a medicine
which can do that, I am willing to search mountains and oceans alike for it.
God know how I have willed myself to give it up. Looking, searching for a way
out, finding none. The damnest things – feelings, which apparently
distinguishes us from animals, weakens us in ways nothing can. Still the stupid
hope persists. If it goes away then everything will automatically be better.
Its not gonna happen, go to sleep, tomorrow is another day, wait for your great
idea.
