Lack of Great Ideas

Open Microsoft Word. This is how great things happen. Blank. Now is when a life changing idea comes in. Baam! Fast forward to success, glory… HAPPINESS. No great idea yet. Too experienced in the reality of life to wait for it (the idea). don’t really want an idea, just a distraction, something to take mind off , its too painful out there right now. I guess that is what happens when your joy is dependent on things and people who are not you. When people or circumstances sometimes unconsciously have more influence on how your day goes than you. We are fools after all. We do this to ourselves. We know so much better than to do this, but can we help it?

Maybe life is the idea we all are looking for, life. Life, the only constant in life. The only thing that stays is that we are living, breathing, being crushed under regrets, sorrows, disappointments but yet living. Looking the same on the outside, going on (sort of). How brave. Fears, failures, regrets, faults, mistakes, incapabilities but then there are hopes, dreams, expectations, beliefs, more hope. Who wins? The lucky ones I am guessing.

Can you stop yourself from feeling? Is there a medicine which can do that, I am willing to search mountains and oceans alike for it. God know how I have willed myself to give it up. Looking, searching for a way out, finding none. The damnest things – feelings, which apparently distinguishes us from animals, weakens us in ways nothing can. Still the stupid hope persists. If it goes away then everything will automatically be better. Its not gonna happen, go to sleep, tomorrow is another day, wait for your great idea.

Different

There are so many people in this world, there are so many things in this world. Everything is different, every person is different, everyday is different. I see this and wonder, how am I better or worse or extraordinary. Everybody wants to be different or better. We try to do stuff to be better, sometimes it works, sometimes it fails. You may not have many chances you deserve be different but you still try in those little ways you can. This maybe your only chance. You dream, you imagine, knowing that it is the only place you can actually be different.



There are so many people in this world. But why does only one seem better than everyone else? A person you may not even cast a second glance at. Why does that person's faults suddenly don't matter ? Why for you a single ordinary person is so extraordinary now ? Why that person is different for you even though you may never be different for them.

Maybe

They say that my life is normal; my life is good because there is no drama, heartache, dreams, wishes, special people and a purpose. My life is great because I don’t have to go through all the pain people suffer. But maybe I don’t want a normal life. Maybe I want to feel the pain because before or after the pain was a period of happiness too, I want that. Maybe my life is not so great after all because it has nothing; it is pain, simple and boring. Maybe I want thunder, rain, sunshine, snowfall and hurricanes. People say I am lucky but I think they are lucky because something is happening to them. Someone actually texts and calls them because they miss them or because they just want to talk not because they have some work with you. Maybe I don’t want the most interesting that happened to me yesterday to be about the tasty food I ate. Maybe I just want to life rather than a good life, maybe I just want to live and love, maybe I just want to start my story.

Maybe

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He was behind her or he was in front of her but he was never with her. If he was with her, it was never for long. It was never long enough to be satisfied, long enough to be sure, long enough to be sure and never long enough to be with her.

Ever have that feeling when you see a person that if they knew you, they would love you, understand you, live with you, dream with you, have fun with you and maybe never forget you. She got that feeling when she saw him. Him; walking, laughing, talking, doing all the mad things he does. She was never the girl that boys could talk to effortlessly, she was never the prettiest, she was never the funniest and she was ok with it until he came around and he made her want to all those things just because she wanted him to see her, actually look at her just once.

Everyday she would look at the mirror and sometimes would not even recognize what see saw. She had that feeling that her face is not her own, it felt somehow foreign sometimes. It was a good face but there was nothing extraordinary about it. Maybe that was the problem, maybe her face wasn’t good enough. Everyday after staring at the mirror for longer than necessary thinking that maybe today will be the day when this face will stand out. She would step out again into the world for yet another time waiting, hoping for the world to change.

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Me And That Feeling

Ever get that feeling after you watch something - a show or anything or you listen to something - line or a song or you read something and there is a sudden urge to do something, in that moment feel you can do anything, you can conquer the world if you want to. You cannot sit on one place, you have to get up and do something. I get this feeling a lot after reading, watching or listening. I don't know what to do with that feeling. The feeling is of pure power and strength. Is that how you get inspired ? I think it is adrenaline I don't know but whenever I get that feeling I find way stand up and I start walking really fast. And then I start imagining myself as a part of the thing I experienced and I feel so happy when I go that and then the feeling goes away. I know I waste that feeling every time it comes to me. I imagine. I do that a lot and because of that I don't really do anything. But when I imagine just for once I have everything I ever wanted and life is perfect and I am happy. Everything is fine and it is where is supposed to be. There is no confusion, no uncertainty, only dreams coming true. That is why I imagine because life is so much better that way. I know imagination is running away from real life and not doing anything. You gain nothing out of it but another load of dreams which you do nothing to fulfill. I mean it is great but it is after all imagination not reality. It makes  you happy but that happiness isn't forever. So, this time when I got that feeling, I wrote this.