Lack of Great Ideas

Open Microsoft Word. This is how great things happen. Blank. Now is when a life changing idea comes in. Baam! Fast forward to success, glory… HAPPINESS. No great idea yet. Too experienced in the reality of life to wait for it (the idea). don’t really want an idea, just a distraction, something to take mind off , its too painful out there right now. I guess that is what happens when your joy is dependent on things and people who are not you. When people or circumstances sometimes unconsciously have more influence on how your day goes than you. We are fools after all. We do this to ourselves. We know so much better than to do this, but can we help it?

Maybe life is the idea we all are looking for, life. Life, the only constant in life. The only thing that stays is that we are living, breathing, being crushed under regrets, sorrows, disappointments but yet living. Looking the same on the outside, going on (sort of). How brave. Fears, failures, regrets, faults, mistakes, incapabilities but then there are hopes, dreams, expectations, beliefs, more hope. Who wins? The lucky ones I am guessing.

Can you stop yourself from feeling? Is there a medicine which can do that, I am willing to search mountains and oceans alike for it. God know how I have willed myself to give it up. Looking, searching for a way out, finding none. The damnest things – feelings, which apparently distinguishes us from animals, weakens us in ways nothing can. Still the stupid hope persists. If it goes away then everything will automatically be better. Its not gonna happen, go to sleep, tomorrow is another day, wait for your great idea.

Maybe

They say that my life is normal; my life is good because there is no drama, heartache, dreams, wishes, special people and a purpose. My life is great because I don’t have to go through all the pain people suffer. But maybe I don’t want a normal life. Maybe I want to feel the pain because before or after the pain was a period of happiness too, I want that. Maybe my life is not so great after all because it has nothing; it is pain, simple and boring. Maybe I want thunder, rain, sunshine, snowfall and hurricanes. People say I am lucky but I think they are lucky because something is happening to them. Someone actually texts and calls them because they miss them or because they just want to talk not because they have some work with you. Maybe I don’t want the most interesting that happened to me yesterday to be about the tasty food I ate. Maybe I just want to life rather than a good life, maybe I just want to live and love, maybe I just want to start my story.

Change

A minute ago life is dull, static and uneventful. All you want is that to change, you something to happen, something to change because you are unsatisfied with your current situation, it’s boring to you so, you want to change it. It doesn’t happen most of the time but when it does, you are not sure if you want this change anymore. You want to change the change, you want to go back to where you where a minute ago, you realize that life was perfect a minute go and now it isn’t. You only realize this because you can’t have it anymore, you can’t change it no matter what you do.  You imagine a million things you couldn’t have done differently but you only think that because you can’t do them anymore. We are stupid idiots, we look at other people hoping we could have something they have but we don’t realize they maybe thinking the same about us. We want change so bad that we don’t even see that the thing we want to change is the best thing we have. Sometimes it is not even this, some sadder times the change is unwanted and painful. You knew your life was perfect but it isn’t anymore.

What will you do now? How can someone survive this? But know one thing you are brave enough to handle anything that comes your way, if you weren’t it wouldn’t happen to you. You just have to find your power, that thing that makes you the strongest. Many people fail, it doesn’t mean that you would. You are not like everyone.

But if you are one the lucky ones, whose life is the same it was a minute ago. See it, appreciate it, know it and believe in it. If you still don’t like it, change it on your own terms before life does it for you. 

I Want To Do Something

I have never been much of a crier even right now I know I won't cry but I can sense something close to tears in my eyes, it is either that or my eyes are just hurting as a result of sitting in front of my computer for way too long. The thing is I feel sad. There is no reason for it and then there are too many reasons. I feel like time is running away and am stable, I fear wasting my life way to much that I am not even living it. I feel like am not getting enough opportunities to show myself to world, I know that is really selfish but I really want to do something that people can see, recognise, appreciate. I sometimes feel really desperate for doing something but I don't really do anything, that really frustrates me. I sometimes get irritated to people due to this and that is not good i know but I just can't help it sometimes. I feel like I am waiting for something big, momentous to happen to me and when I doesn't happen I feel depressed. I know it's not possible for  something to happen to me, I mean it's not a movie or anything but the thing is I watch too many movies and I see a lot of people and I have way too many expectations. I see other people and it is good see those people doing so many great things but I want to do great things too. I know I can be wrong too but this is one the reasons why I am sad there are others too but I think this is big enough for know. One more thing I wanted to say that the the little things that happen do make me happy but soon wear off but I become really happy for a while and I like it. For the time being I stop looking sad because everybody doesn't have to know you are sad, they probably won't even care because in the end only you can make your self happy so if happiness taking too long to arrive, in the mean time JUST SMILE. I know it's hard and to will probably look like Sheldon Cooper trying to smile but I will make the people you love happy and it is sometimes worth it.

THIS NEVER FAILS TO CRACK ME UP !!